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  ‘OK, OK, Sixsmith,’ she said, waving her cheroot impatiently. ‘I don’t want details. I just want to know why you imagine I can help you?’

  ‘I need a lawyer,’ he said. ‘And you’re my lawyer.’

  ‘Now that’s where you’re making your mistake,’ she said. ‘Way back, when Robco Engineering made you redundant and tried to stiff you for your severance money, then I was your lawyer. And OK, from time to time, as your persistence in maintaining this pretence that you’re a PI has dropped you in the mire, I’ve given a helping hand. But that was out of, God help me, mere charity and pity for a dumb creature. Now, all those folk out there who have come to me with serious life-threatening problems which I should be dealing with this very moment, I am their lawyer. But I am not your lawyer, Sixsmith. And even if I was, I don’t do motor insurance!’

  She thrust the letter back at him. He took it and let his eyes drift up to a poster on the wall behind her. It read:

  SHAKESPEARE SAID

  Kill All The Lawyers!

  Except, of course, us.

  We’re here for your protection, not our profit.

  IF YOU KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT,

  WE KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!

  Pointing, he said, ‘I don’t see where it says, excepting Joe Sixsmith.’

  ‘OK, OK,’ said Butcher. ‘Don’t go weepie on me. Look, I’m really no good for you, what you need is a specialist. There’s this guy I know … he owes me a sort of favour …’

  She smiled rather grimly. Joe guessed that in lawyer-speak, a sort of favour meant you knew something to put the black on a guy.

  ‘You mind stepping outside a moment, Joe. I don’t like witnesses to extortion.’

  He went out. Expectant eyes focused on him. He smiled guiltily. The door opened and he slipped back in.

  ‘Heard of Poll-Pott?’ she said.

  ‘Butcher, I’m not going to Cambodia.’

  ‘Ho ho. Pollinger, Potter, Naysmith, Montaigne and Iles,’ she said.

  ‘That Poll-Pott,’ he said. ‘With those posh offices in Oldmaid Row?’

  ‘That’s them, except when they charge like they do, they don’t have offices, they have chambers.’

  ‘Sort of chamber poll-pot,’ said Joe, who was often stimulated to wit by Butcher’s presence.

  ‘Je-sus. Anyway, Peter Potter and I used to be sort of buddies way back, before he became too rich to afford me. He specializes in insurance cases.’

  ‘And he’ll look into mine?’

  ‘Not so much look into as glance at. He’ll give you five minutes to tell your tale of woe then he’ll spare five seconds to tell you whether you’ve got a hope in hell. You want more, you’ll have to make an appointment and start paying by the parsec for his professional services. Sorry, that’s the best I can do, and even that has cost me dear.’

  ‘It’s great,’ Joe assured her. ‘When do I see him?’

  ‘In the next half hour. After that, don’t bother.’

  ‘What’s he doing?’ said Joe, looking at his watch which said quarter past five. ‘Jetting off to Bermuda for his hols?’

  ‘Don’t kick a gift horse in the teeth, Sixsmith. Pete Potter may be self-seeking, hedonistic, and fascist, but he makes the big insurance companies reach for their bulletproof vests. You can be round there in five minutes if you step smartly.’

  ‘No, I can’t,’ said Joe. ‘The policy’s back in my flat.’

  ‘Oh God. Why do I bother? And why are you still cluttering up my workspace? Don’t step smartly, run like hell!’

  Joe ran like hell.

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  About Reginald Hill

  Reginald Hill, who died in 2012, was a native of Cumbria and former resident of Yorkshire, the setting for his novels featuring detectives Andy Dalziel and Peter Pascoe. Their appearances won him numerous awards including a CWA Gold Dagger, the Diamond Dagger for Lifetime Achievement and the Theakstons Old Peculier Outstanding Contribution to Crime Fiction Award. The Dalziel and Pascoe novels have also been adapted into a hugely popular BBC TV series.

  By Reginald Hill

  Dalziel and Pascoe novels

  A CLUBBABLE WOMAN

  AN ADVANCEMENT OF LEARNING

  RULING PASSION

  AN APRIL SHROUD

  A PINCH OF SNUFF

  A KILLING KINDNESS

  DEADHEADS

  EXIT LINES

  CHILD’S PLAY

  UNDER WORLD

  BONES AND SILENCE

  RECALLED TO LIFE

  PICTURES OF PERFECTION

  THE WOOD BEYOND

  ASKING FOR THE MOON: A DALZIEL AND PASCOE COLLECTION

  ON BEULAH HEIGHT

  ARMS AND THE WOMEN

  DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD

  DEATH’S JEST-BOOK

  GOOD MORNING, MIDNIGHT

  THE DEATH OF DALZIEL

  A CURE FOR ALL DISEASES

  MIDNIGHT FUGUE

  Joe Sixsmith novels

  BLOOD SYMPATHY

  BORN GUILTY

  KILLING THE LAWYERS

  SINGING THE SADNESS

  THE ROAR OF THE BUTTERFLIES

  Other

  FELL OF DARK

  THE LONG KILL

  THE COLLABORATORS

  THERE ARE NO GHOSTS IN THE SOVIET UNION

  DEATH OF A DORMOUSE

  DREAM OF DARKNESS

  THE ONLY GAME

  THE STRANGER HOUSE

  THE WOODCUTTER

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